My husband and I were seated at one of the many large, round tables that had been scattered around the hotel ballroom, surrounded by dozens of other military couples who had come together to attend a unit-sponsored marriage retreat. The speaker had done his best to present the awkward material in a light-hearted yet informative kind of way, but the conversation had suddenly taken a serious turn when it came time for the unit chaplain to address the crowd. Isolation, readily available technology offering instant gratification, and being away from one another for lengthy periods of time can encourage spouses to seek support from others — real or fictional — online. How do you fight for your marriage in a lifestyle that often feels as though it is setting you up for failure? How do you maintain — or, even better, boost — your sexual relationship and levels of intimacy when duty calls you to be physically separated from your spouse for months — and often a year or more — at a time?
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Lights turned low, music crescendo as they are re-acquainted with one another; blankets covering up just enough. The screen blinks and they are sprawled out on the California King, happy, sated, and Wait a minute…. Where is this magical place with no talk of lube, no silly sounds coming from who knows where, and music that hits the high note at exactly the right spot?
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While Tom expressed quite a bit of dismay at an apparent upsurge in incidents involving inappropriate relationships in the Canadian Army Brig. I think we keep forgetting that human beings have been thinking about and having sex for all of recorded history: you can read it in writings as far back as Ovid and Pietro Aretino. The case of the Canadian captain caught in an inappropriate relationship with an enlisted soldier is, in my eyes, a grey area. Until ten years ago, relationships between officers and enlisted service members were actually legal in the U.
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